This exercise in self reflection may seem vain, but I'm learning something from it. I've figured out that I don't mind doing self-promotion, as long as it's for some project or cause that extends outside myself. It's as if I can make myself the other by objectifying my image, by attempting to make my image art.
The images are simply tools for building something that extends beyond myself.
I've decided I don't like my tendency to project my mood onto other people. It just turns them into mirrors. And all mirrors do is mutely mouth back what I've already thought and am in the process of saying.
I hate it when I discover that I have the same tendencies of people I despise because of those tendencies.
My self-absorption folds in, folds on top of itself when I am busy. I forget about my friends, or I think about them but don't do anything. This is not how I want to live my life.
I have figured out that I create myself through what other people say I am. I am more fragile than I want to admit. A few broken mirrors, and my life could implode.
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2 comments:
I think I do the same thing, but a little different. I love to find things that I have in common with others that are really basic but beautiful. Such as the way the skin wraps around the clavicle bones or nervous habits like touching your hair. They are all things I look at in the mirror and beyond that are beautiful on almost everyone.
It is a shame people are always looking for flaws in themselves and others, when they should be looking for things they are intrigued by or identify with as well as find appealing. I have always loved the mystery of people.
I think nate raises a good question: why is it that so many of us tend to focus on the things we see as negatives about ourselves instead of looking at the positives? Why can't the look at the mirror in the morning be an affirmation of some of the things that are good about us?
I wonder if there could be some way of inventing a "verbal mirror" that instead of reflecting back an image, it would speak about the interesting things that each of us has to offer. I suppose though, just like a visual mirror, things could be said in a way that relies on the interpretation of the viewer/hearer. Our interpretations are a good method for putting ourselves in front of the funhouse mirror; we can warp our image beyond recognition.
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