I decided that it might be interesting to stare at myself in the mirror for an hour straight, just to see what might pop up in my mind. Generally, I tried to stay focused on physical things, but inevitably, my mind wandered to James Van Der Beek and Matt Damon. I did not take notes as I was doing this. I wanted to really spend an entire hour simply looking at my own reflection. Since I just finished, I have to say that the most surprising thing about the experience was how quickly the hour went by. It was like I was in some sort of trance, and all of the sudden, it was over. It made me wonder how many other times I am simply lost in my own thoughts, and I lose track of what’s going on around me.
One of the first things I noticed was how asymmetrical my face is. My nose curves slightly to my right. My left eyebrow has a little section of it that stands straight up, forming a small tuft of hair that the right does not have. Despite the fact I’ve never had braces, a case could be made that I need them. The frontmost tooth on my right overlaps the one just to its left. Others stick out further than I can tell when I look at my face straight on. Even the lines in my forehead crease differently above my right eye than my left. It appears that my left pupil is slightly more open than the right. I don’t know if this is just because of the lighting, but a friend recently told me that one pupil is bigger than the other. Maybe her suggestion created the awareness or false awareness. The hair in my nose is longer in my left nostril than in the right. I wasn’t aware of a small tuft of white, translucent peachfuzz growing out of my left ear. I have a slight cowlick on the left front of my hair, hair that is gradually turning grey, more on the right temple than the left. This hair, despite the constant “your hair is so thick” comments by the women who cut my hair, is (I swear it) thinning. My smile tilts up to my left more than I realized. The folds of skin around my eyes are getting looser and flappier. So I’ve figured out that I have a crooked face. Overall, I think I’m ok with that. Very few people shrink away in horror when they see me coming.
I wonder if my perception of myself is really based on my own observations or a collection of what others have told me. Another thing I noticed while investing an hour in curious vanity was that I find myself much more attractive from straight on than I do from the side. Straight on, I appear to have a fairly defined jawline, while from the side, the beginnings of a double chin create a fairly smooth slope from my Adam’s apple to just under my chin. For some reason, I thought of Matt Damon.
Years ago, I used to think that if there was any famous actor that I most resembled, it would be Matt Damon. Those of you who know me probably would disagree, and I do, too…now. These thoughts of Matt Damon somehow led to thoughts of a stripper I saw on two separate occasions, about 6 or 7 years ago. What’s the connection between Matt Damon and the stripper? Nothing really. But it reminded me of what the stripper told me: “You look like that guy from Dawson’s Creek.” Well, I suppose that is a compliment, so long at it’s James Van Der Beek. But I have never seen an episode, so maybe it was someone else. But I knew that James was on the show, so I said, “You mean James Van Der Beek? Really? Thanks, I guess he’s an attractive guy.” I proceeded to give her 20 more dollars.
About 6 months later, I visited the same friend in the same town and we went to the same strip club and I ended up talking to the same stripper. And of course, she told me the same thing. Even other parts of her “speech” were identical to the previous visit. I figured out what was going on. I have brown hair, and so does James Van Der Beek. Strip clubs are dark, and strippers want money. So, I look like James Van Der Beek. Interestingly, I thought that there has to be other male characters on Dawson’s Creek. I wonder how I would have responded if she’d said, “You look like that guy on the Lord of the Rings.” Which character would I have pulled out of my mind at that point?
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2 comments:
Give yourself -and the stripper- more credit. If she were only after your money, I'd be surprised that she'd give you the same compliment twice after such a long span of time. Do you know how many men that woman sees on a regular basis? 6 months is a long time for her to remember that you need to look like James Van Der Beek so that she can get her 20 bucks.
So, maybe her praise was economically motivated; but is it also possible that you DO resemble him?
Here's something to add. Got it in an email from a friend without a gmail account.
I tried to post a comment, but as I am not up to “blog speed” I was soundly rejected. Here it is in all its glory, it belonged to the “hour in the mirror” segment:
This is awesome, not only that you could do it for an hour (I surely couldn't) but that you had great reflections on your appearance. I have decided that the invention of the mirror is not only one of the greatest but worst inventions of all time. It can help you see around corners (fantastic spy trick), when working on your car (tight situations), and keep you from traipsing all over the office with a long piece of toilet paper flapping in the breeze as you walk.
Unfortunately, they can also haunt you- help you to become obsessed with slight imperfections that others would never notice, and you may yourself have misconceived as an imperfection! The tragedy! I suppose without a mirror, I would figure out a way to install a reflecting pond to continually belittle my appearance and existence, so in the end the invention is worthy.
After all- when could one use a reflecting pond to see around a corner?
I hope this finds you well- you do look very kick a** with a mustache.
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